In Adrienne Rich's essay "Claiming of Education" she says,
"We have been offered ethical models of the self denying wife and mother; intellectual models of the brilliant but slapdash dilettante who never commits herself to anything the whole way, the intelligent woman who denies her intelligence in order to seem more "feminine," or who sits in passive silence even when she disagrees inwardly with everything that is being said around her. "
What women in her right mind wants to be the one who never commits herself, denies her intelligence, sits in passive silence, and disagrees inwardly with everything around her?
Although when a question is phrased like this it can be easy to say well nobody would want to be any of those things however, in today's world women compromise themselves everyday.
I find it disappointing that the young women of today find it okay to compromise their intelligence, deny themselves of their opinions, and compromise their moral beliefs in order to seem more "feminine" or appeal to more to men. Whats even more disappointing is that media has encouraged the men of today to find it appealing when girls dumb themselves down or seem ditsy.
In reality what it comes down to is long term partners and friendships are determined by the qualities that are just the opposite of all those things. In the article "50 Things Men Wish Women Knew," written on www.MensHealth.com the first thing that a men wishes a woman knew is that she would,
"Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong"
and "Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup.".
Although this article posses a lot positive things that a man may be looking for in a women I came across several more degrading things that men seem to stereotypically expect of women or traits that men don't seem to have patience for.
For example,
"
When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence." and "
When I screw up, go ahead and tell me—once." Although its fare to say that men do have the right to express there opinion on what they seek in a women I find it a little degrading that these are just a few of the examples I pulled up, especially when in most cases women are most likely thinking similar things about men. It would be nice if we could see each other as another human with feelings however, there will always be a sexual barrier.
Its easy to see why women would want to act sexy and ditsy in order to seem more appealing to a man. Men are drawn to women initially by their looks. The moral of the story is however, if you want him to stick around your going to have to win his heart over. Although, this advise doesn't always only apply to relationships with a significant other. People tend to be empressed with anyone's ability to express there intelligence. In an essay "Thoughts on How to Be More Interesting", taken from www.succeedsocially.com, some of the main points made were, "Learn to present what you have to say in an engaging manner"and "Being interesting is about fostering your uniqueness".
Its clear that in order to be a success in today's world that perhaps blending in with the crowd and not standing up for what you believe is setting yourself up for failure and a unfulfilled life. Although at times it may seem easier and less confrontational to act the way people expect you to in the long run all you are doing is fooling yourself into a future in which you do not intend to be. Here in the 21st century we have been given the incredible gift of being able to freely express ourselves, do not deprive yourself of this privilege and do not take it for granted. Women having been fighting for the ability to vote, go to school, be involved in the work place, drive cars, speak freely, own property, and more for hundreds of years. Each one of these things was a struggle of its own and it is an extreme privilege that we get to live in an era in which those battle have already been won for us. It is our job to take advantage of each of these things and utilize them to our greatest potential and embrace our freedom as women in the United States.
Express Yourself.
"Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are really in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathies with despised ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences."
—Susan B. Anthony
Read more: http://www.succeedsocially.com/interesting
Read more: http://www.feminist.com/resources/quotes/
